


Why We Do What We Do

by pyrrhical (anoyo)



Series: Time Pieces [1]
Category: Gundam 00
Genre: Established Relationship, First Person, Intentional Tense Change, M/M, Second Person, Time Piece, third person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-05-02
Updated: 2008-05-02
Packaged: 2018-09-30 14:45:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10165286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anoyo/pseuds/pyrrhical
Summary: "I hadn't meant to -- any of it. I hadn't meant to."Lockon thinks about his and Tieria's relationship. And then Tieria might. Honestly, after the first bit, you're not really supposed to know whose POV it is. Sorry not sorry?





	

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written 5/2/08.
> 
> This is a "Time Piece." It's a thing I do when I want to inspire myself. I put my iTunes on shuffle and start writing to whatever comes up, and continue writing through the next four songs. All five songs are written to the same story, but there are subtle changes with the music to the storyline, so the song switches are actually part of the story. Yes, I know this is sort of strange.
> 
> Also, this one is super weird and I tagged it COMPLETELY wrong when I put it up and I'M SO SORRY.

Time Piece 1  
Good Charlotte  
Say Anything

_Here I am._

I hadn't meant to -- any of it. I hadn't meant to.

I hadn't meant to break down at all, it's not something I'm supposed to do. Not something I was created for. 

I hadn't meant to do it in front of anyone, let alone him. Insult to injury.

I hadn't meant to look at him like that. Pleadingly. Embarrassedly. Pained. I hadn't meant to have the break down in the first place.

I hadn't meant to collapse in on myself, right there in the hall, only he around.

_I'm fallin' -- I'm fallin' -- I'm fallin' down._

I hadn't meant for him to pick me back up, put me back on my feet. Brush off my shoulders, straighten my hair, my glasses.

I hadn't meant for him to tell me that it was okay, I was, so now it was my choice.

I hadn't meant to fall in love with him.

Time Piece 2  
Disturbed  
Violence Fetish

_How can you sleep when you look at your lives?_

Sometimes I wonder: we're ending violence with violence. Surely we're going to hell. That burning hell my parents always spoke of. The sinners' and murderers' hell. Because we are murderers, aren't we? Completely.

_Let out the beast that you're trying to hide._

But it can't bother me. Sometimes the fact that it doesn't makes me afraid, vitally afraid, just for myself. Because I don't care, do I?, that I'm killing so many people. Because I can feel inside of me that it's right.

_Tell me -- what am I supposed to be?_

I suppose it helps that you've never doubted, probably not even for a second, whether or not this is the right thing to do. That you've never even flinched in the sight of what Veda wants us to do. And you're there, behind us, making sure we keep on the path that we began. Because it's only fair.

You hold us up.

Time Piece 3  
1997  
Waters Edge

_I'm at the waters edge, and I'm veering closer._

Strong arms enclosed his waist from behind. His body stiffened, the gesture unknown, unusual, not understood. A chin came to rest on his shoulder, a cheek against his jaw, hot breath against his collar bone.

"What are you doing?" he managed, but the stiffness of his body was fading. Without his own approval, he was melting back into the embrace. Sinewy muscles releasing their tension.

_Shadows kissing secrets._

The voice was not fast in coming, and when it did, it was almost bizarrely harsh. "Holding you up," it said, a degree of pain to that harshness. "You're not as strong as you think you are."

_Stringing you along like a beautiful love song._

That elicited a sharp laugh from him. It was obvious. "I don't believe that I am strong," he said, his voice a hushed whisper.

Hot breath against his collarbone. "But you have to believe."

He closed his eyes, leaning fully into the embrace, praying for it to tighten. His prayers were answered. "Believe for me."

Time Piece 4  
H.I.M.  
Behind the Crimson Door

_We hide the crimson door, while the summer's killed by the fall._

It was a vast game of make-believe. 

A make-believe strength.

A make-believe ambition.

A make-believe aspiration.

Everything that had once been sure, stead, uncompromised, was now shaken. How could it not be?

The only thing that wasn't make-believe was the one thing that should have been.

The romance. It hadn't meant to happen, the romance. Neither of the participants nor the emotions themselves were ready for it. It came upon them like a storm, a violent, virulent, storm.

_Your love will be the death of me._

Death was inevitable. They were fighting for something idealistic, something almost unreal. And they were going to lose and die, or win and die.

There was no room for survival.

But there was still room for now, and when they had realized that, neither of them knew.

If the romance did, it wasn't telling.

But it was their strength, now. That fleeting emotion.

It held them up.

Time Piece 5  
Charlotte Church  
What Child Is This?

That's the problem with focusing your strength in someone else, isn't it? Together, you're stronger than apart, but if you get used to it . . . 

And it's taken away . . .

You're left wondering if, before you were joined, you were ever really this weak. Or, maybe, if when that bond was destroyed, it took the combined pieces of you and him with it. Unable to split them again, they didn't want to be split again, and so they went together into the veil.

Never to be seen again.

Or maybe you're just imagining it. Maybe this is how strong you were before there were two.

And maybe the weakness of one isn't really what sickens you.

Maybe you just don't want to remember that weakness, because with recognition of the weakness comes admittance that two has become one.

And maybe that's more what you're trying to deny.


End file.
